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Battle for BFDI 666: The Game
Author’s Note This story was not to be taken seriously. It was meant to be a satire on the following things. * Haunted games. * Ridiculous twist endings. * Melodramatic protagonists. * Hyper-realism Anyways, enjoy my trollpasta! Foreword This is the recorded blog of a college student, who was playing a morbid Battle for Dream Island game that a friend sent him. Shortly after submitting the last entry, he committed suicide in his dorm room. There you go! Now you know what happens, so you don’t have to read this story! Unless, of course, you want to. November 6th, 2019 A friend of mine recently sent me what he claims to be a scary Battle for Dream Island game that he wants me to try out since he didn’t have the time or courage. Anyways, I won’t play any today, since I have a shit ton of homework. If you’re wondering why I’m recording this if I apparently have no time, it’s because of forced and contrived storytelling. Look for tomorrow’s post. It won’t disappoint, cause I can see into the future. November 7th, 2019 I played some of the game today. The best way I can describe it as is BFDIA 5b, but with BFB characters. It’s been pretty fun. Obviously, my friend, who I’ll call Kyle just cause, was obviously misinformed. Wait. Maybe there’s a secret that will make the game spooky. Don’t ask how I came to that conclusion. Anyways, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Same place, same bat time. November 8th, 2019 I wish I hadn’t unlocked that secret (NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE AMIRITE.) This game will be the bane of my existence. I know that after this torture is over, I will lose my sanity and have an undying urge to kill hoes, but that’s besides the point. Here, let me explain what happened. I was playing as Taco, my favorite character. I was exploring Level 13 when I found small pipe, similar to those from the Mario franchise. “Could this be a crossover?” I thought, though I quickly snapped BACK TO REALITY WHOOP THERE GOES GRAVITY WHOOP- (I’m so sorry.) Anyways, time to switch back to dead serious horror. My life has been ruined by this game after all. I pressed up on my arrow keypad. After that, my life was changed forever, even though nothing scary happened. It was what happened afterwards that made me shiver. A cutscene played. It looked as if it was recorded on a VHS tape. Taco walked into a small room. One that oddly looked like my dorm. Only it looked disheveled and ruined. There was a window that revealed the outside. It was blurry, but I think it showed what remained of Yoyleland. Although it was blurry, I could somehow make out what it was perfectly. Yoyle City was in flames and the water was BLOOD. Sorry I got sidetracked over useless information. Anyways, Taco looked around until she saw a note on the ground. It was written in blood, and was torn in places. Taco began to read the note. Here is what it said. “Taco, no matter what the fans and fellow contestants say, I always knew the truth. You abandoned your team, and I can’t believe BFB viewers like you. That will soon change. In fact, I will destroy everything you stand for. YOUR NEXT.” I was freaked out for several reasons, the first of which being that I felt insulted, as Taco is my favorite character. However, the most notable thing to me was the grammar. The fact that no one can use the right “your” pissed me off. Taco looked scared and nervously looked around. Then, a figure walked in and the screen went black. The game’s regular quality returned. I turned my computer off. I had played enough of my filth for today. As diabolical as this game is, I will continue to play by the power of forced and contrived storytelling. I will see you all tomorrow. Mark my words, it will get worse. November 9th, 2019 I actually wanna die. No really. I want to die. Why? All I can say is that it’s because of what I played today. Level 14 had Taco running away from the figure from before. She had a look of terror on her face. The fear looked hyper-realistic. I have no idea what that means but we’ll just roll with it. I eventually escaped through a pipe like the one I used yesterday. I was hoping that the torture was over but it was not. She was taken to a room with writing on the walls, and the grammar was so poor that I felt like I had to kill a hoe to release my anger. Oh, and there were dead bodies of several BFB characters but that’s not important. There was a door at the other end of the room. I opened the door, got on the floor, EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR. Immediately switching the tone back, what was on the other side of the door was an empty void. Looking across the void, there was a door that glowed in the darkness. This seemed to represent Heaven and Hell. In the abyss below, there was screaming, chanting, and wailing. Taco sat at the edge of the void and cried hyper-realistic tears. Then, the figure from earlier pushed her into the darkness. The level ended, but not before red text popped up saying “GET OUT OF MY SWAMP.” The text was so red that I can’t even grasp how red it was (O MY GAWD A TENSE SWAP!1!!!1) It’s almost like it was the color of BLOOD. Soon, the text turned green the screen showed a picture of Shrek. His eyes were red and black and bleeding hyper-realistic BLOOD. Then, I knew that in would be permanent. I turned off my computer and went to bed. Mark my wiener, I’ll finish the game tomorrow. November 10th, 2019 Now that I’ve finished the game, I suppose I can finally make myself clear about my intentions. I’m going to take my own life. I know this story said that this would happen, but like shut up! Now, I shall explain what went down on the final date. Once the picture of Shrek finally disappeared, the credits began to roll with All Star playing in the background, but there were pixels in the sound. I can also listen to compressed jpegs, but that’s not important in the slightest. Now that you mention it, I should probably go into granular detail about my condition. It started when I was 7 and going through the internet for the first time. I found a jpeg of a hot chick, but something was off. I could hear a female voice singing The Next Episode in a seductive voice. I kissed the jpeg on the lips and told my parents. As punishment for me listening to and kissing a jpeg, they slapped me on the bum bum. I now listen to jpegs in secret. BACK TO THE STORY. After the credits, I saw the shadow figure from earlier. It was Logan Paul! Out of anger, I punched my computer screen so hard it cracked to a billion pieces and killed a hoe. I will never forget what I saw in that game and now I know my true calling. I will fly to Japan and hang myself Aokigahara. Goodbye everyone. Afterword Our precious narrator killed hundreds of people in the airport before hijacking a plane and flying to Japan, where he proceeded to kill more people before hanging himself in Aokigahara. How do I know this? Because I’m the friend who sent him the game. I’m Jeff. Credited to IAmWolfNinja Category:Satire Category:Hyper-realistic Category:Vidya games Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ Category:Memes Category:Jeff the Killer Category:Shrek Category:Blood Category:DRAMA QUEEN ALERT Category:YOU'RE NEXT Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT Category:Blatant Ripoffs Category:Delusional retard that should be in an asylum Category:Sucide Category:Shok ending